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Professional Poet, Life Coach, Educator, Artist – Runs Workshops, Gives Reiki & Wellbeing Training

Tag: suicide

Quote of the Day, by Patricia Foster: ‘Acceptance, Patience and Love Towards Others’

April 12, 2014 /

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In our modern style of living and busyness, it is very easy to lose sight of where a friend or loved one is in their life. To misunderstand the journey they are on. To have little or no concept of what they are going through.

For those experiencing pain or personal challenges, reaching out to another can be extremely difficult.

This week, two high profile young twenty-somethings – Peaches Geldof, daughter of Sir Bob and the late Paula Yates (25) and Karyn Washington, founder of forbrowngirls.com (22) – were both found dead on 7th April and 8th April respectively. At the time of writing this blog, tests are still being carried out on Peaches and Karyn apparently committed suicide.

In my line of work with young people, I often rely on intuition to gauge if someone is in need of support. A listening ear, or by removing our own judgement of another, is usually all it takes to help that friend or loved one get back on track.

Who could do with your listening ear today?

Please feel free to leave a comment and share.

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When Will Bullies Get The Message? – by Patricia Foster McKenley

July 18, 2013 /
Photo: Patricia Foster Photo: © Patricia Foster McKenley

As individuals, we are ALL created uniquely beautiful. Some of us have gentle dispositions and are therefore misunderstood. Some of us are extremely sensitively wired and are therefore misunderstood. Some of us will NEVER fit into the mould of acceptable looks, or acceptable past times. It’s about having patience with and being accepting of others, instead of demonising them…because they are not like you!

Some of us may not have explored communication tools that can best express our thoughts or feelings, so may have difficulty in responding to harsh words or criticism, or are unable to articulate the inner pain connected to these harsh words. Speaking out against harsh, critical words may therefore be a huge challenge.
Some of us may feel unsupported, because we are unable to find the right person to express our innermost thoughts and feelings to, without the fear of our expressed feelings being thrown back in our faces.

There is a saying “hurt people hurt people”. Research has shown that those who are unhappy within, or are in pain themselves lash out or bully others, therefore hurting their intended target too.

I performed poetry at a recent ‘Loose Muse’ women’s writing event and a courageous young lady shared her own, deeply personal experiences of being bullied and subsequently wanting to take her own life. She mentioned also that in the area of south London where she resides, suicides among teenagers, in particular GCSE and A Level students were at a ridiculously high number. This was not just due to the pressures of life, but also about how some are made to feel by harsh comments and treatments by others.

Today, I read a Facebook post, which outlined the last Tweet posted by a young man, tormented over the years about his sexuality. He was commonly referred to as “a loser, freak and fag” and used this to describe himself in his last Twitter message. He felt he had done the world an injustice and therefore took his life.

Without the right support and understanding from others, when will people cease to remove their inner pain, torment and feelings of being misunderstood by taking their own lives?

Some of us will never be accepted, because we are moulded and act differently.

How can those of us who are emotionally stronger step in to help prevent bullying and help support and encourage those who are being bullied or misunderstood?

In my workshops and through my writing I have focussed on this, as I have also been bullied and victimised by others. I therefore choose to use my art and holistic and well-being tools to help stand up to this. Writing and coaching can be useful ways to express pain, as well as feel accepted and valued within.

© Patricia Foster McKenley 2013

‘Sensitivity and the Artist: The Link Between Sensitive Personalities and Creativity’  – by Award-Winning Writer & Holistic Coach Patricia Foster McKenley

May 15, 2013 /

‘Sensitivity and the Artist: The Link Between Sensitive Personalities and Creativity’
by Patricia Foster McKenley

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Being a sensitive adult can be viewed as either a curse or blessing to the said sensitive individual.
For many sensitive adults, who may deem this a curse, they can probably list a range of unwanted or difficult circumstances such as:

• Being highly affected by harsh and nasty comments
• Taking on board and feeling deeply saddened by others’ misfortune
• Being affected by criticism and judgment from others
• Always wanting to avoid confrontation or uncomfortable conversations
• Bearing childhood traumas that trigger off reactions to relatively similar adult situations
• Excruciating shyness
• Labelled too shy, too sensitive or a walkover by others
• Become stressed easily
• Experience low self-esteem
• High bouts of depression

However, many sensitive adults may deem it a blessing and look at the advantages such as:

• Being a good listener
• Possessing empathy
• Being excellent authors and poets
• Having the ability to express themselves as artists
• Being highly intuitive and spiritual
• Having high levels of patience

I have witnessed highly sensitive individuals, who champion the causes of other people, encouraging them to utilise their gifts. However, when it comes to expressing their own gifts, or operating from their higher selves or to their highest potential, they almost enter the realms of martyrdom, where it is virtually difficult for them to speak up or express their true selves.

Research has shown that many highly sensitive adults end up working as counsellors, teachers, artists, poets, writers, authors, social workers and healers /natural health practitioners and other caring professions.

According to Elaine N. Aron Ph.D., the author of ‘The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You’, the world can be an extremely, overwhelming and unassuming place to sensitive people in general and certain situations and environments are too overly stimulating. She also acknowledges that “one in every five people is born with a heightened sensitivity” and gifted with “intelligence and imagination”.

I speak as a sensitive adult myself, who has experienced or displayed many of the above traits. Reading Elaine’s book about The Highly Sensitive Person (HSPs) was a welcome breath of fresh air; it made me realise there was nothing wrong with me and indeed others I know who bear similar traits.

Due to the, at times, overwhelming and difficult circumstances in my life, I have had to identify the personality traits that I have and go through a stage of healing and being kind to myself. This ‘self identification’ and healing process allowed me to develop the skills and empathy to understand, listen and heal others (especially those who are sensitive) through teaching, training, art, film making, poetry, coaching and Reiki.

Over the years, I focused on ways to harness my sensitive nature and also balance this with being grounded and looking after my physical and emotional health.

I discovered that my emotional health was impacted by consuming certain foods that created imbalance (such as meat and alcohol). Through following a vegan and raw vegan diet and being teetotal, this has prevented me from becoming too overwhelmed and over stimulated by the world.

Being highly sensitive is a personality trait I feel blessed to have and with this, I endeavour to make this world a better place to exist in.

However, this is not to say that non-sensitive personalities are insensitive, impatient or possess little or no creative skills. This is to highlight that sensitive people are ‘wired’ uniquely and therefore respond to external stimuli in a unique way.

© Patricia Foster McKenley

Please feel free to leave a comment below
or email: [email protected]
Patricia Foster McKenley is a Holistic Life Coach, an Award-Winning Internationally Published Poet, Performer, Visual and Multimedia Artist (BA Hons), Broadcaster, Certified Tutor/Trainer & Facilitator, Dynamic Educator and Creative Consultant. She is also a Certified Reiki Healer, Wellbeing Advisor, Vegan and lover of Raw Food. As a writer, she has worked for the BBC and has toured, performed and delivered Workshops in the UK, Europe, Jamaica, Gambia and the USA. 


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